The Outside World

[lemongrover]

Has anyone ever had someone look at you differently because you're a Supernatural fan? Do people think you're domineering, rude, and condescending because you post comments online? Does being a Supernatural fan impact your life and your friendships? Does it change anything?

I decided to create a place to share stories about how people look at you once they know your a Supernatural fan. They can be good or bad. Or you can talk about how much you dread someone finding out you watch the show. Or how excited you get when you find someone who knows what you're talking about. We all know what it's like to love this show and we "get" each other (most of the time). So, how does the outside world look at us?

[lemongrover]

I'll go first, since I'm curious to see what it has been like for other fans, because something happened today and I was wondering if it's normal for someone to look at you differently because you post online.

Here's one of my experiences (I'll post the good ones later):

My friend thinks it's weird that I occasionally post online comments about the show. She thought it was just a bunch of people complaining, bitching, and arguing. She said she doesn't understand why I do it, but she guesses that's how I stay so pleasant and nice in real life, I get all my meanness out online. But I've been telling her that isn't the case. You can have real discussions and meet some great people. After a lot of discussions, I told her that she would just have to go look. So, today she decided to join a message board. She likes Dean the best and doesn't really care about the overall story. And she found a Dean-centric message board, "To Hell and Back" to join. I had hear about it and heard it wasn't good for Sam fans, so I had never been on. And it even said, it wasn't a Sam-bashing website in the board rule, so I assumed that meant it was monitored and safe. So, I helped to sign her up.

It was awful. It wasn't a pro-Dean website, it was an anti-Sam website. It was worst than TWOP. I guess if you have to acknowledge that in your Board Rules, then something is up. It was like they were trying to cover up what they really are! At least, here, it seems like the website sticks to its rules. But the administration staff just let anything go. Nothing was done about inappropriate comments about actors, writers, or characters. And most people were just complaining and saying they going to watch "Grimm." (Then why don't you just post about "Grimm" and quitting bitching about Supernatural!)

I feel terrible, because now, my friend thinks anyone who goes online is like that. I wish I had just told her a website instead of letting her pick one. Why couldn't she have found the nice Dean fans? I don't know. I'm a magnet for finding bad stuff online, so maybe my luck rub of on her. Still, this was worst, because it wasn't some random crazy person. It was casual. It was like it wasn't out of the ordinary to post something like that. It was shocking seeing one particular member because I had read their posts for years on the CW and I never once thought they would use the "St. Super Sam" like it was Sam's real name. I guess things were different on the Lounge, because the poster used to called people out when they said slightest mean thing. I remember her tearing me a new one when I said that Dean shouldn't demand an apology from Sam because he tried to give Dean a normal life.

Now, I'm worried because I don't think me reacting badly to the website is going to make her feel better. I told her that it probably a good think for people like that to have a website because they have a place to themselves and we don't have to deal with them. All the while I'm worrying about the fact I've since some of usernames and about thirty regulars which means thirty people think that and they post on other sites regularly. Does that mean they'll come here? Will that impact what the show thinks we think about Sam? They talked about how much of a joke Sam and Dean's brotherhood is. Am I missing something? Is Sam and Dean's relationship just amped up by the fans? Or, is it just bitter fans wishing? Is this a large opinion? It's presented like it is. So, many thoughts were going through my head. I think I was in the paranoid stage of upset. Or maybe I was trying to think of everything else instead of thinking about the reality that I might lose a friend.

Hopefully, tomorrow, she'll be unregistered. But I don't know if what she is going to think. I tried explaining the extreme fans to her, but it's tough to do when she doesn't know what the normal fans are like. And it didn't help that I was so upset. I hope that she knows me better than to think that I'm okay with this or like this. I think it will work out. I find writing ramblings help me calm down and I do ramble when I write. But it isn't about putting others down, that's not the norm for Supernatural. I wish I could show her what it's like to have something like this weighing on you and just being able to go somewhere safe and post what you feel.

Does this happen to other posters? Do people look at you differently because you post?

[isitfridayyet]

I'll be honest, NONE of my friends in the real world know I post on SPN forums. They know I am borderline obsessed with the show, and some of them even watch it with me - my best friend included. The closest they get to knowing how involved with the fandom I REALLY am is on twitter. I retweet a lot of SPN stuff and tweet about the show and the actors. Twitter isn't big in Kansas though. I think only like 5 of my friends follow me on there and no one has ever said anything to me about it.

[Lostcause]

Girlfriend thinks I'm a nutcase for posting here. She's probably right!

[Aeryn]

My brother and sister both say I'm a dork because I post on the forums. Which I think is hilarious, since my sister is a Jersey Shore fan and my brother still watches Yu Gi Oh.

[yimhappy]

Interesting thread Lemongrover.
Gosh, what an awful experience for you & your friend.
It reminds me of how surprised I was that vehement posts could leave me feeling shell shocked.

I totally believe that other people's opinions don't matter. Someone can hate what I love, and that's OK. On a deep level, I don't care what some stranger on the internet thinks. Yes, I prefer hanging with those who have my same sympathies. But, I'm not threatened if someone doesn't agree.

That said. I can still feel horror at another's harshness. I can still feel, "omg, you're so obsessed it's scary." How can you keep watching while you think that??

I can't imagine how it feels that you're friend had that kind of intro. What a disappointment.

I voted "no". My family & friends never heard of SPN or it's fandom. They don't know SPN fandom's reputations, & don't care to know. They know I like the show. I've shown them episodes, and they're like "that's nice." That's probably for the best.

[yimhappy]

Mar 15, 2012 12:48:16 GMT -5 Lostcause said:

Girlfriend thinks I'm a nutcase for posting here. She's probably right!

You're girlfriend is probably right, but not because you post here.
Girlfriends are usually right about these things.

[yimhappy]

I had to check out s1.zetaboards.com/To_Hell_and_Back/index/
Thank you Google!


I don't think that there are 30 Sam haters. The board covers a lot of other topics. Like the CW, some folks avoid certain topics. Others sound worse than they really think, to get along on the board. Also, the private board I know has 50 members, and about 15 regular posters. People join for awhile, get tired, drop off.

[lemongrover]

Mar 16, 2012 21:16:35 GMT -5 yimhappy said:

I had to check out s1.zetaboards.com/To_Hell_and_Back/index/
Thank you Google!

I don't think that there are 30 Sam haters. The board covers a lot of other topics. Like the CW, some folks avoid certain topics. Others sound worse than they really think, to get along on the board. Also, the private board I know has 50 members, and about 15 regular posters. People join for awhile, get tired, drop off.

You're a lot of more grounded than me! ;D We didn't look at the other topics. We went into the the discussion threads about the episodes and checked out some of the characters threads. I'm glad that there aren't that many. When we looked that the members section to find the mods listed, there was a good bit of members with high post counts, but out of over two hundred member, there were plenty who had never posted. Hopefully, they all weren't like that. Still, she had seen enough.

I hate it when people don't stay themselves and just adapt to whatever the majority is doing. What's the point of posting your opinion if you just trying to keep up with everyone else? It seemed like there were several people, but that just could have been my friend commenting on every single one,I don't know and I'm not going back to find out. It probably was worst since it was my friend's first time on the message boards, so seeing her reacted to it might have made things look worst. And she isn't used to the smallest bit of nastiest online. But I didn't help matters reacting to the stuff said about Sam and I should have track at the looks I was giving. Still, I'll never get used to someone hating characters because of one single episode especially like "Asylum" or "Fallen Idols." And I'll always hate the nicknames or calling characters "Gary Stu" when you all you can do is complain about how much the character is wrong and how many mistakes they have made. We didn't see thing positive about Sam in the threads, but we only stayed on the boards for about twenty to thirty minutes. And the mod letter didn't help.

I'm relieved that they have their own website and as long as they don't cause trouble here, then I'm fine. I tend to let what others say get to me, but then I sleep on it and I'm okay. It's part of my problem. I'm curious about everything and I analysis everything. Sometimes I can just sit back and enjoy. But I'm curious to know what other people think. It gets me into trouble. I like discussing and listening.

Anyway, my friend is alright. She wasn't angry with me which is a major relief. She still doesn't get the online thing, but she does understand why I get upset over something said on the internet. She doesn't think it's worth it.

[lemongrover]

isitfridayyet, I don't tell most of my friends either. I don't even tell most of my friends that I watch the show. My mom and sister know and three of my friends (and only one of them knows that I post online and you guys know how that went). My sister thinks I'm a dork (hey, maybe Aeryn and I should start a club! ). My mom worries, but she has read some of my posts and she likes them! She watches the show too! And we used to talk about it all the time, but she had trouble with the fifth season because of the deadbeat God and she didn't like that God wasn't going to the help the boys (and then she really didn't like it when I mouthed off with the fact she didn't like the bailout). And she didn't like the sixth season either, so it hasn't been the same. But she'll still read my posts when I ask her to. She likes them and thinks they're good. (But I think she's biased, because she framed a painting I did back in 1996 and I KNOW I'm a crappy artist. My sticky figures always come out really wonky.) I don't like telling people I'm a Supernatural fan usually. My parents told some family members that I watch Supernatural to try to help get me involved in some conversations other than answering what school I'm going to for college and most of them just gave me grief for liking supernatural crap or kept asking if I believe in ghost. Unfortunately, it just made me more quiet and uncomfortable being mocked at, but it's not like a bunch of drunk people at a wake are going to be the empathetic and tactful. Fortunately, I got to leave to go back to the hotel and watch the 100th episode of Supernatural! So, I won in the end!!

I guess the best experience I've had is telling my friend that I watch "Supernatural" and finding out that they watch too! She used to watch "Smallville" and "Supernatural." We would watch youtube videos about the show (most the ones with Disney songs ) and eat tacos and then go watch "Smallville." How high school seniors deal with the end of year stress and waiting for college letters!!

[Tinker]

No one, and I mean no one in my physical life (I don't like to referr to IRL, or "real" life, because some of my online friends are as real as any) shares SPN or TE with me. Most know about it, but seem not to "get it". A few of my more religious family members are actually praying for me as a result. Nope, y'all are the only compadres I've got!