Post by Mistermoonlight on Apr 1, 2013 21:08:59 GMT -5
A few months ago our staff began to receive messages from our simian overlords as to a mission they wanted us to accomplish. Some of us received the information in dreams, others in Chinese fortune cookies, and a few in notes mysteriously appearing in their pockets.
We came together as one, knowing what must be done.
It was a multi-phased effort which involved the use of internet force-field transmuters, thermal excitement lenses, and sub-quantum boogie shifters.
Step 1: Change the names of the innocent to protect the guilty, and prevent high-energy transponder accidents.
We discussed this for a long time, and finally came up with the following code signs:
1. At the suggestion of Commander Watchtower, I assumed the name of Captain Tightpants, based on a disturbingly chronic interest in the television show Firefly.
2. Watchtower, in turn was assigned the name Intrepid Stilleto, which Smallville fans ONLY might remotely recognize as source material.
3. We decided that most folks were unlikely to guess antiarbitrator's real legal given name: The Astounding Angel, so we used it.
4. We are happy to have on our staff an AVP60685 unit as a Supermod, and that title does not come lightly, as she combines all of the best features of R2D2, C3P0, and Data from the Star Trek series while actually being even more human than most organic folks. Due to her superior communication skills, she was given the project name The Thoughtful Scribe-Mistress.
5. Evicted Mod gilmorefanalways had her codename Miss Juniper Book derived from the Donovan song "Jenniifer Juniper" as well as her abiding interest in all things literary, and my misfortunate interest in the Firefly character Shepard Book.
6. Spending most of her time in the jungle as a result of the overload of signals from all of humanity (most likely a genetic predisposition from her uncle, Doctor Fate) and singlehandedly keeping the world in balance, Evicted Mod Kimba116's title was derived from the television show whose broadcast first caused the emanation of her powers: The Charmed Guru.
7. In the case of our own graphic design genious and unrepentant Supernatural fan, anicat, we simply used the name she is known by professionally in the entertainment industry, The Amazing Miss Giga Dazzler.
8. lemongrover's new identity I'm a little teapot was refined from the fact that nothing goes better with lemons and creatures from Sesame Street than a nice cup of tea.
9. SoCal is well-known for her passionate political debates. a ntiarbitrator revealed her alternate identity of Connie Bream, a brilliant political spin doctor depicted in the movie "Wag The Dog."
10. The mercurial Merr is known as a tanning booth business owner, and a fan of Downton Abbey, hence Lady Mertan Abbey.
11. Our Constant Journalist from the days of old, 3sheets2thewind is, according to location, GPS challenged, so she took on the enigmatic mantle of The Lost Reporter.
12. Mazeman, of course became the emblem of all such searches: Baron Waldo Labyrinth.
13. Using intricate post-Gaelic computer models we were able to ascertain that rish's true name was most likely Peachwhiskey O'Hoolihan.
14. Little knowing Tanmi's Steampunk predilection we were amazed to discover that she is better known elsewhere as Air Vice-Marshall T anmi Goodnoodles.
15. Since we know that Aeryn starred in a movie (major release, not those minor fetish adult ones), we've determined through IMDB that it was second female lead in Resident Evil. To aid you in figuring out her role we've tried to help solve the problem with the name That chick from Resident Evil. No not that one, the other one.
16. With his continuing contributions to blues music in the area of kitchen implements as a basis of measuring desire and longing, spoonieluv has an established name within the chitlin' music industry, but it's not the name you necessarily know. You'll see his CDs and videos in the bins under the name Honeyboy Lightnin'. (You owe me $2000 for the plug, by the way.)
17. We know that KylEl is fan of governor Mike Huckabee, and the name Uncle Huck reminded us of the great John Candy movie Uncle Buck.
18. MNBird, what can I say? All we found was feathers. But we know that will be more than enough to regenerate her. We have the technology.
19. At first I was thinking of HammieZilla as a sci-fi name for hammies revenge, then I came across the Honey Boo Boo name generator and I didn't even have to use it. Thus was born the incredibly disturbing Hammie Boo Boo.
20. We made waggie3015 into pookiepie because the cosmos told us to do so, and who are we to argue? If you listen to voices, you listen to voices. It's kinda like the radio, right?
21. EasterBunny just had to be Harvey. Google Jimmy Stewart movies if you doubt. And shame on you if you don't believe in Harvey. Ok not to believe in Paul Harvey, as he's dead now.
22. amnesiavictim1 came into being with the creation of Night of the Living Dead, and has graduated to being a master of both the zombie and human domain. So, the good news is Mr. Romero will see you now.
23. We're still trying to riddle out how taltos became The Puzzler. It's an enigma.
24. SammySideburns (Lisa) can hardly stand the Harry Potter movies, so we decided to torture her with the name Miss Goblin Nevillebottom.
25. wrestlingfan has become Stone Cold Undertaker. We're blaming those crafty lucha libre fighters.
26. Our beloved SVFAN102006 over in the Smallville forum, based on her avatar, is now Penelope Pitstop, and I can't guarantee what the response will be anytime she says she's 'tired.'
27. ashley is our Velvet Star, because she IS one. And because we like Elvis paintings.
28. Jeff96 visits during the overnight hours, thus he is known as Professor Midnight.
(First of 3 parts)
