Come on out of the "I am a Southerner" closet.

[Tinker]

I have lived far away from the South for a long time, but more and more relatives are coming out here to live, and I recently went back "home" for an giant family event. I therefore, find myself thinking of my roots a lot lately...

LESSONS FROM THE SOUTH

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Women will be assessed based on their ability to make decent potato salad...men, barbeque.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!

Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom?

People actually grow, eat and like okra.

Fire ants are not your friends.

Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.

You can say anything bad about just about anyone, as long as you wisper it - "That neighbor of mine is crazy/ugly/dumb as a bag of hammers" "

Main-aze is not a condiment, it is the beginning of a sentence. As in, "Main-aze, been a lot of rain this spring!"

There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it just after you are able to hold up your own head. If you order tea in a restaurant in the South, expect it to be sweet, there is no unsweetened tea...why on earth would there be?

For many, the Holy Trinity is The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Now, Southerners are a faithful group, by and large, but the Southern Holy Trinity is God, Football, and Potato Salad.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

If the tomatoes are ripe, and there aren't half a dozen on the windowsill in your kitchen, there is something wrong with you.

The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.

You know fairly accurately how far away, and in what direction "yonder" is.

Grits. Don't tell me you don't like them...you have obviously eaten some instant crap made by a yankee. Bet they didn't even put any salt or butter in them...

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

People you know well are, Honey, Baby, Sugar, Darlin, and the like. People you have recently met are Miss firstname, or Mr. first name - like "Thanks for comin' to our church today, Mr. Bobby and Miss Ellen."

Naked and nekked are not the same thing. Nekked is almost always funnier, and more likely to have been inspired or encouraged by the consumption of alcohol. Nude is something that only happens out in California.

You know what a hissy fit is.

You are well into adulthood, and still call your Mother, "Mama" and your Father, "Daddy"

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

Some words simply need another syllable. Yankees say "four." Southerners say "fo-wer." There are many examples, but a few are: fo-wil (foil), oh-wil (oil), bo-wees (boys), hay-yam (ham).

Any other Southerners out there?

[Aeryn]

Louisiana, on my father's side.

You sure sound like a Baton Rouge girl.

[Tinker]

The buckle of the bible-belt...Alabama.

[Aeryn]

Uh oh.

[KyleEl]

Nothing in that first post is true for me.

[Mistermoonlight]

Raises his hand.

Yep, I'm a southerner. Born in Texas, and lived in Alabama, Mississipi, and Louisiana. Started my radio career in Mississippi, but spent about 15 years of it in Baton Rouge. Although I'm not there now I feel most like an expatriate Louisianian these days.

[Watchtower]

*Raises hand*

Born and raised in Florida!

[Aeryn]

*puts bullet through hand*

What's your birth sign, Moon?

[Mistermoonlight]

Mar 2, 2012 22:30:00 GMT -5 Aeryn said:

*puts bullet through hand*

What's your birth sign, Moon?

I probably know way too much about this, even though I don't believe in it any more, as I used to do a radio show with an astrologer as my guest once a week. Poor guy would stick around answering calls we couldn't get to during the show, sometimes up to an hour after the show was over. He was a nice guy, and did my horoscope in detail for me once.

I'm Pisces, Virgo rising, with my moon in Leo. And one of my planets, I don't remember which one, is in Scorpio. Probably either that pesky Mars, or Venus. And another one is in Saggitarious, but I don't remember which one that is either.

I was also born in the middle of a sandstorm at 7:25pm one night in Texas, which I like to think makes me sound a little like one of the bad guys from a Stephen King novel.

[Aeryn]

Awww, you're a Pisces? Two of my exes were Pisces.

[Mistermoonlight]

Yeah, and one of these days, when you're hitchhiking away from this planet you can look back and say, 'Thanks for all the fish!'


I'm guessing you're (1) Scorpio, (2) Taurus, or (3) Leo.

[Aeryn]

Pisces men are good kissers. But they'll pout like a kid if they don't get their way.

I'm a Leo, darling.

[Mistermoonlight]

I don't have the energy for pouting any more, but I used to be darn good at it!

Then I learned it's much more effective to just pretend you don't care. Keeps 'em wondering.

[hammies revenge]

Well, I live in a climate-controlled bubble, but a couple of these apply anyhow.

Mar 2, 2012 1:11:03 GMT -5 Tinker said:

LESSONS FROM THE SOUTH

People actually grow, eat and like okra.
Okra pickles are the best, but for some reason the instant reaction I get when I mention them to other people is "eew, pickles?"

Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.

C'mon, everyone knows that don't they?

Naked and nekked are not the same thing.
Oddly, this makes me think of Buffy ... but I digress.

You know what a hissy fit is.
It's what the kids at the library have when you try to take a puppet away from them long enough to check it out to their account.

[Mistermoonlight]

Actually they're wrong in that guide. Y'all is never singular. A lot of folks get that wrong. Particularly in badly stereotyped movies.

I think it was Mississippi comedian Jerry Clower who once said that the difference between 'naked' and 'nekkid' was that in the first case you didn't have any clothes on. In the second, you didn't have any clothes on and you were up to something.

[hammies revenge]

Mar 2, 2012 23:54:54 GMT -5 Mistermoonlight said:

Actually they're wrong in that guide. Y'all is never singular. A lot of folks get that wrong. Particularly in badly stereotyped movies.

I think it was Mississippi comedian Jerry Clower who once said that the difference between 'naked' and 'nekkid' was that in the first case you didn't have any clothes on. In the second, you didn't have any clothes on and you were up to something.

No, no, there's a singular "y'all" ... just not necessarily a Southern or even Southern-sounding one. Maybe it came from bad movies in the beginning, but it has been adopted for better or for worse.

It makes sense that kids are generally "nekkid," then.
I maintain that Spike says "nekkid" as in, "are you nekkid under there?!," but I can't work out whether it's how the actor says it, part of the character's "accent," or whether it's just less awkward to say "nekkid." Do not ask why this bothers me so much; basically, I often find myself resting off my latest cold or headache with nothing better to do, so ....

[Mistermoonlight]

That's what I meant, kinda. It's not southern dialect, for sure. Just an unobservant writer's guess at what it is.

Some southern dialect is place specific: in New Orleans, going to the supermarket is known as 'makin' groceries.'

You'll also find the ubiquitous question 'how's your mom and them?'

Finally, Lousiana is the only place I've ever heard someone say they 'caught a flat' when a tire on their vehicle deflated. .

[hammies revenge]

I was just talking with someone the other day about how few audibly Southern actors there seem to be -- Sam & Dean sound like every Midwesterner and their brother, and in the meantime we've got how many states and countries represented by True Blood's "Louisiana" population? Dunno, maybe I'm watching the wrong shows (...well, True Blood's "wrong" for a few reasons, but I only made it through S1 of that ).

[Aeryn]

Mar 2, 2012 23:14:45 GMT -5 Mistermoonlight said:

I don't have the energy for pouting any more, but I used to be darn good at it!

Then I learned it's much more effective to just pretend you don't care. Keeps 'em wondering.

I always ended up with Pisces or Cancer men. And while I loved their romantic natures, I got really tired of trying to coax them out of their "moods."

But they could be so damn sweet. :heart:

[avp60685]

I am a southern because of my mommy!
she's from tennessee and my daddy was born in Florida but was raised mostly in Georgia and South Carolina and people say I talk with a slight accent when I speak and I guess I do because I am forever saying y'all and yonder and stuff. so yeah i am a southern!

[KyleEl]

I don't know whether Tracy Jordan is from the South but in a "30 Rock" commercial on my CW station he says, as he takes off his shirt, "You can watch it nekkid."

[Lostcause]

I was born in the southern part of Scandinavia.

I'm not sure that counts? oO

[Tinker]

Why certainly! It's more of an attitude than anything

[avp60685]

and we ain't no yankees either! LOL

[Watchtower]

Ya got that right! The Yankees are mostly northerners... Damn Yankees!

[avp60685]

Yeah my Uncle tried to call me a Yankee last night and i was like "Oh heck no Uncle"

[avp60685]

here are some funny southern pictures i found on google:

[KyleEl]

When I was four years old my doctor told me I talked like a Yankee.

I must have gotten over it because one of my college professors told me I should lose my accent before getting a professional job and he could teach me how.

[Tinker]

Well, I sincerely hope that you didn't. Mine has gotten me out of many a speeding ticket!
Hehe

[avp60685]

I use my accent a lot to get my students attention so i don't have to scream that much.

I'll say something like "Come on y'all"