Evil apocalyptic zombie squirrels

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Dizzy190
03-29-2011

EvilSquirre1:
Your neighbor has been making waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets thinking he could control them. However, that is not the case the squirrels have taken over your neighbor's house for their base of operations.

Thank you for the heads up on the toilets. I always look before I sit, because a snake that is flushed down the toilet can make his way up the U bend and bite you in the butt. I will keep a supply of toothpicks near the bathroom to stake the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets if I see them in my toilet bowl.

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I was thinking of the materials I would have at hand, should such an attack occur- dental floss garrotte!?!?!?

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

Okay that one cracked me up. This is why I have my toothbrush handle shapened to a point on one end.

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Dizzy190
03-29-2011

I learnt this one from Dean Winchester - Deodorant + lighter = flamethrower!

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

I got hairspray. However, I don't think fire kills zombies. So I could have a pissed off on flaming waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets chasing me through the house. Once the squirrel is on fire; he is going to be a little hard to stake to his grave bed. Plus if I go for the head shot with my 22 the flames will be a little distracting.

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DudeUFugly
03-29-2011

:heart: I just love this thread title. :heart:
Every time I see it it makes me giggle. ;D

Thanks for posting

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yimStar
03-29-2011

You know, i was having a stressful work week. Now, I can't use the porcelain thrown without looking down & wondering.


Unfortunately, I know of a true story of a squirrel falling down a plumbing ventilation shaft, and finding it's way to light via a toilet, while some lady was using it...


The problem with being older is too many bad stories accumulated.

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

DudeUFugly:
:heart: I just love this thread title. :heart:
Every time I see it it makes me giggle. ;D

Thanks for posting

Welcome to my weird little world. It's crazy inside my head. ;D

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

yimStar:
You know, i was having a stressful work week. Now, I can't use the porcelain thrown without looking down & wondering.

Unfortunately, I know of a true story of a squirrel falling down a plumbing ventilation shaft, and finding it's way to light via a toilet, while some lady was using it...

The problem with being older is too many bad stories accumulated.

I can picture the movie trailer. A lady in a beehive hairdo is headed to the bathroom shuts the bathroom door. Then you hear her screaming; the voice over man says, "just when you thought it was safe to use the toilet, waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets are back."

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SnDnatural
03-29-2011

EvilSquirre1:
Welcome to my weird little world. It's crazy inside my head. ;D

LOL!!!! I LOVE the title of this thread! It's sooooo comical!!!! ;D ;D

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Dizzy190
03-29-2011

EvilSquirre1:
I got hairspray. However, I don't think fire kills zombies. So I could have a pissed off on flaming waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets chasing me through the house. Once the squirrel is on fire; he is going to be a little hard to stake to his grave bed. Plus if I go for the head shot with my 22 the flames will be a little distracting.

Oh man! Are we sure fire won’t stop them? I was kind of counting on that. Maybe if I dowse the little suckers with a mouth wash accelerant first, they might burn quicker? No? Oh dear I could be in trouble - tough gun laws here in the UK. I just can’t think of anything lethal I would have to hand in the bathroom.......................................

Ladyshave!?!?!?

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Dizzy190
03-29-2011

yimStar:
You know, i was having a stressful work week. Now, I can't use the porcelain thrown without looking down & wondering.

Unfortunately, I know of a true story of a squirrel falling down a plumbing ventilation shaft, and finding it's way to light via a toilet, while some lady was using it...

The problem with being older is too many bad stories accumulated.

A wise woman always checks before she sits!

Seriously though, I don’t know who I feel more sorry for - the squirrel or the woman!

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SnDnatural
03-29-2011

I feel more sorry for the squirrel. POOR little thing!!!!!! Where did this story come from?

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Dizzy190
03-29-2011

EvilSquirre1:
I can picture the movie trailer. A lady in a beehive hairdo is headed to the bathroom shuts the bathroom door. Then you hear her screaming; the voice over man says, "just when you thought it was safe to use the toilet, waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets are back."

"And this time its personal."

Make in 3D and I'd watch it!

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melydron
03-29-2011

Because of you, guys, I've been listening to S.I.M.P (Squirrels In My Pants) all day long

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KristinPhoenix
03-29-2011

What would you rather fight zombie squirrels, zombie clowns or zombie dolls?

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melydron
03-29-2011

The only zombie thing I wouldn't fight is zombie cockroaches. Cockroaches scare the living daylights out of me.

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

Dizzy190:
Oh man! Are we sure fire won’t stop them? I was kind of counting on that. Maybe if I dowse the little suckers with a mouth wash accelerant first, they might burn quicker? No? Oh dear I could be in trouble - tough gun laws here in the UK. I just can’t think of anything lethal I would have to hand in the bathroom.......................................

Ladyshave!?!?!?

What's ladyshave? That's right I heard not even the police have guns in the UK. Let's see the two ways I know of to kill a zombie is stake it or head shot. I wonder if you could use a bow and arrow instead of a gun if so shapen the end of your toothend had use dental floss to shoot it at the head? How about cropping off it's head is that the same as a head shot? If so just start shaving with a straight razor. Then when the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets attack you can use the razor.

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EvilSquirre1
03-29-2011

KristinPhoenix:
What would you rather fight zombie squirrels, zombie clowns or zombie dolls?

I wonder if Sam could fight a zombie clown or would he be to scary? I still say zombie squirrels are the hardest to fight. They can climb, fly, and swim. Plus they can attack from the toilet. No way a zombie clown can climb up into my toilet bowl. Zombie dolls don't scary me at all. However, a zombie barbie doll might be a little freaky. Oh wait a zombie Sweet Talking Ken Doll would be really odd. You should check this doll out on Amazon it will crack you up. I'm 41 years old and I want this doll just to record stuff to make it say.

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bronzedaussie
03-29-2011


I'm watching an old Buffy episode right now, in which there was a homicidal clown. My first thought: I wonder what Sam would do if he were there?

My waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets have -
Oh! Wait! Harmony!! I mean Harmony, Cordelia's friend from Buffy, and sometime vampire on SPN! (Sorry - she just turned up onscreen )
Oh no - now there's an invisible person attacking people... flashbacks to Wishful Thinking and Smallville!

My waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets have taken up 2600 words so far... I think I'm more than halfway done!

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bronzedaussie
03-29-2011

How odd... sitting here, innocently watching Letterman, and the promo for Jack Hanna comes on... then as they go to the ad break, we get that little joke, subtitled on the screen:

"Did you know Jack Hanna believes he can communicate with squirrels?"



Maybe Jack Hanna is responsible for raising the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets! Maybe he can talk to them?
I wonder what an undead squirrel would say...?

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SnDnatural
03-30-2011

bronzedaussie:
How odd... sitting here, innocently watching Letterman, and the promo for Jack Hanna comes on... then as they go to the ad break, we get that little joke, subtitled on the screen:

"Did you know Jack Hanna believes he can communicate with squirrels?"



Maybe Jack Hanna is responsible for raising the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets! Maybe he can talk to them?
I wonder what an undead squirrel would say...?

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This is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!

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EvilSquirre1
03-30-2011

So the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets have hostages and we have sent in Jack Hanna to get the list of demands from the undead squirrels.

What would an waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets demand in exchange for the hostages? A giant acorn tree? But undead squirrels don't eat acorns anymore. So would they demand lake side property and a ski boat?

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SnDnatural
03-30-2011

I LOVE this thread!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

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EvilSquirre1
03-31-2011

I hope this thread inspired a lot of fan fiction. I would love to read some. bronzedaussie how is yours coming along. Last we heard you had 2600 words.

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bronzedaussie
03-31-2011

Writing as we speak! I spent last night reading fanfiction when I should have been writing it, but the squirrels are being very co-operative tonight and I'm making progress - past 3000 words now!

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EvilSquirre1
03-31-2011

I'm glad to hear the waterskiing Evil Apocalyptic ninja zombie squirrels in bloodstained lifejackets are being agreeable today. ;D Don't worry you aren't on a deadline. I promise not to send zombie pigeons after you. I was just wondering.

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bronzedaussie
03-31-2011

Zombie pigeons!

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jaredisawesome
03-31-2011

Zombie pigeons. There is another creative idea for another fanfic. ;D

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EvilSquirre1
03-31-2011

I told you it was crazy inside my head. There are zombie pigeons, zombie squirrels, a zombie sweet talking ken doll, and occasionally the energizer bunny pops in to say hi. I'm not sure what it all means.

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jaredisawesome
03-31-2011

I would like to see the zombie sweet talking ken doll.