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Post by KyleEl on Nov 16, 2018 15:43:45 GMT -5
From another site I go to:
When the late Herve Villechaize had his pocket picked, L.A.P.D. detectives were amazed how anybody could stoop so low.
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 3, 2018 18:12:03 GMT -5
Karen Walker on "Will and Grace" went to Texas with Will and Jack, who were there to see Jack's grandson. Karen was there to see the section of The Wall she sponsored. I didn't see any sign the Rio Grande was anywhere around, though. That's where the wall would be. When she saw her section, her ex was there. He said he thought "Walker, Texas Ranger" was cancelled due to old age. She said she should have congratulated him on "Toy Story 4".
And now I've forgotten the other joke. They got arrested when their fight damaged The Wall.
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Post by AntiArbitrator on Dec 6, 2018 14:23:10 GMT -5
How is that a “short“ joke?
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 7, 2018 13:10:58 GMT -5
How is that a “short“ joke? He's the one on the left. And saying he was in "Toy Story 4" means he was one of the toys. |
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Post by AntiArbitrator on Dec 7, 2018 14:44:22 GMT -5
How is that a “short“ joke? He's the one on the left. And saying he was in "Toy Story 4" means he was one of the toys. Understood. |
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Post by InsertBrainHere on Dec 16, 2018 14:16:26 GMT -5
I heard on the radio that Kevin Hart was fired from the Oscars for homophobic remarks. He didn't want his son playing with dolls. Isn't that kind of inappropriate, the radio host said, when he is only 10 inches tall?
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 17, 2018 13:28:11 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 17, 2018 13:30:05 GMT -5
Also, I'm not sure whether this was a short joke but his friend's new girlfriend liked him so much she wanted to carry him with her in a backpack. There was a "Kid and Play-Doh" reference somewhere. Not sure it was on this same show or even if it was intended as a short joke. I thought of this because an episode of one of my shows was called "Kid and Play". |
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 24, 2018 17:55:54 GMT -5
I have three today. Maybe four. Plus I wanted to mention the subject of the "Toy Story" joke has won an Emmy for the role in the past.
This isn't a short joke if Jews in general are not short, but on Howie Mandel's standup comedy special on The CW, a Jewish comedian who said he was 6-foot-6 also said, "That's a lot of Jew. We don't usually come in this size."
I have two from 'The Goldbergs". Maybe three. Adam is old enough to drive but his overprotective mom won't let him watch scary movies. Over the weekend I watched the Halloween episode and she said she knew of a kid who watched "The Exorcist" and didn't sleep for three years. He never grew again and as an adult needs a stool to reach the sink. Later in the episode she called her son Snickers Fun Size, although he's not short.
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 31, 2018 18:45:44 GMT -5
From SNL: Dave Paterson doesn't feel his state is governable. That's like Danny DeVito saying a basketball is undunkable.
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 17, 2019 15:50:44 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 21, 2019 18:00:39 GMT -5
From the late-night comics:
Anthony Scaramucci is on "Celebrity Big Brother". And Sean Spicer is the poodle on "The Masked Singer".
Chris Christie is being considered to replace Jeff Sessions as attorney general (yes, that site is outdated). So we've tried the elf. Now we'll try Santa.
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 26, 2019 13:05:18 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 29, 2019 15:33:57 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 14, 2019 10:44:09 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 14, 2019 17:27:02 GMT -5
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Post by InsertBrainHere on Feb 16, 2019 13:05:45 GMT -5
A radio host said "El Chapo" means "Shorty", which makes it an insult. But 5'6" is within the normal range. Something about the way he said that suggested he was trying to be funny.
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 19, 2019 17:01:19 GMT -5
Does Sneezy have allergies? No, he has a little cold. (It has to be a little cold).
Andy on "The Goldbergs" enjoys coaching youth basketball. He's taller than his players.
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 25, 2019 17:55:01 GMT -5
Sid of "The Cool Kids" has never been in a committed relationship other than his 25-year marriage to a woman, but now that he has come out he is finally head over heels over a man. Margaret said that was easier for him than for most people.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 4, 2019 17:53:14 GMT -5
Both of these are from "The Cool Kids":
A good friend of Margaret is moving into the retirement community. Margaret introduces her friend to Sid, Charlie and Hank. The friend says, "Small, medium and large! I love it!"
Sid tells Charlie at a luau that a certain food's name translates as "little pickle". Which was also his nickname in school. So Charlie starts calling him that. Sid says he didn't like the nickname.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 8, 2019 18:00:32 GMT -5
On "Will and Grace" someone said if Ruth Bader Ginsburg wants to fly on an airplane, she should get inside a checked bag and then the flight will be free.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 11, 2019 15:19:41 GMT -5
Sid on "The Cool Kids" never learned to ride a bike. Margaret asked if his feet couldn't reach the pedals.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 14, 2019 17:31:33 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 18, 2019 16:56:51 GMT -5
Sid on "The Cool Kids" wore a fur coat and someone called him an Ewok.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 21, 2019 16:07:40 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 30, 2019 12:05:56 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 12, 2019 16:23:39 GMT -5
Margaret said to Sid (on "The Cool Kids") that he must be so happy that his favorite clothing store had introduced boys' sizes. It would be funnier if I could remember the name of the store because I think it was real.
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 26, 2019 17:16:02 GMT -5
Sid on "The Cool Kids" was hiding from his boyfriend in someone else's apartment. Someone looked and Margaret said try harder because he's pretty small.
Jake on "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" said he is above average height. For the 1940 census.
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 29, 2019 15:53:21 GMT -5
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Post by KyleEl on May 6, 2019 16:33:45 GMT -5
I saw the movie "Top Secret!" I hope I hadn't seen in before but it didn't seem all that familiar.
A woman said she knew a little German. There he is.
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