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Post by AntiArbitrator on Jun 6, 2014 16:17:09 GMT -5
Max's boss gave her a pencil box as a present when she started going to pastry school. She thanked him for giving her his home. That is so funny. I never watched the show but I recognize the characters. |
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Post by KyleEl on Jul 14, 2014 13:55:51 GMT -5
Max and Caroline were late for work. Their boss was furious since that meant he had to wait on tables, and the cashier called him Little Man Tate.
Edit: I found that online. It wasn't Max.
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Post by KyleEl on Aug 1, 2014 16:13:12 GMT -5
The short jokes were coming at a rapid pace this week. Before I finally knew for sure I had seen the episode, I heard these jokes, though the quotes are not exact (the first is not a short joke but it's still funny):
The owner of the restaurant asks where is Max? She'd better not be claiming she's getting a prostate exam. I'm not falling for that again.
He's tired of her walking all over him. The cashier says a baby could walk all over him.
There's some reference to the boss being signed up for Little League but it is mentioned to him that he did choose to play the whole season.
Hearing that Max is having sex with her boyfriend, whose place is nearby, the boss says she'd better not be having sex on his clock. An obnoxious customer who is a regular on the show says his clock's not big enough. The boss goes to the boyfriend's place and knocks. Max answers and says, "Hi, little girl. We'll take two thin mints."
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Post by KyleEl on Oct 31, 2014 12:28:47 GMT -5
The Two Broke Girls said they had a big problem and their boss walked in with a suitcase. Max said, "And there's our little problem." She also said she had never seen a ventriloquist's dummy walking around outside of his case.
Later in the episode there was a knock on the girls' door. Max looked through the peep hole and couldn't see anything. She concluded it must be Han. It was.
The cook from the diner was there making bread based on Han's suggestion of a new trendy menu item. It had such a size and shape that Han said he wasn't prepared for anything like that and it would take him some time to take it all in.
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Post by KyleEl on Nov 7, 2014 15:02:15 GMT -5
I had to go to a web site after I couldn't remember details the next day, so I'm reasonably sure these are accurate.
The boss on "2 Broke Girls" walks in and announces it's payday. "And I'm not talking about the delicious little treat with nuts." To which Max replied, "Han, not cool to brag about yourself."
The boss tells her to buy a new attitude and she says, "New attitude? Isn't that the name of the boy band you're in?"
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Post by KyleEl on Nov 14, 2014 16:38:39 GMT -5
Han brought his fish tank to work and Max called it his Olympic size swimming pool.
Then he stood up on something so he was higher than the tank and Max said now he could see things are different above sea level.
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 2, 2014 14:44:15 GMT -5
A man hands Max a bottle of wine he brought and asks for two nice glasses. She goes in the back and asks the disgusting Ukrainian cook for some of his brother's wine. After pouring out the other person's wine so they can drink it themselves, the waitresses pour the cook's wine into the nice glasses. Max comments that it's like "Ocean's Eleven". She says to call it "Ocean's Seven-Eleven." And all we need is a little Asian man who can fit in a box. In walks the boss.
In another episode the boss is riding a bike a Max comments that he is a certain body part of Lance Armstrong.
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Post by KyleEl on Dec 19, 2014 15:15:41 GMT -5
Han participated in a live Nativity Scene. Asked why he was an angel instead of Jesus, he said he spent 11 years in diapers and wasn't about to wear them again. Max declined to add anything to that. Later when it was over, she handed Han the Cabbage Patch Christ, calling it a life-size doll.
Han didn't like being interrupted when he was in the middle of something. Max asked, "Puberty?" He had a comeback: he was on the phone witrh Ripley's Believe It or Not saying Max and Caroline still worked for him.
Han worked for the girls' cupcake business making their T-shirts. There was a knock on the door and Caroline asked if he had called to complain about child labor law violations.
Max said she saw Han with a little package--and a gift bag.
There was some reference to something small for Christmas and Han said, "Hello." I don't remember any more than that.
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 16, 2015 16:47:42 GMT -5
The girls' neighbor Sophie has a new business. She restores hair that women have had removed from a certain location. She realized when she saw the boss that she needed to consult him about what Asians would like, and she felt the hair on his head to learn what it was like. One of the girls asked if he shouldn't have hair down there before he was ased to consult?
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Post by KyleEl on Jan 23, 2015 15:35:13 GMT -5
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Post by AntiArbitrator on Jan 25, 2015 14:16:07 GMT -5
That was an excellent comeback.
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 17, 2015 16:16:22 GMT -5
At some point I hope to remember to look this up because it might be somewhere. I haven't seen last night's episode yet but last week, the 2 Broke Girls were in jail and their boss made some comment about them being let out of the Big House which would have been a perfect set-up but now I can't remember the response.
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Post by AntiArbitrator on Feb 18, 2015 18:08:40 GMT -5
They probably said something like any house would be a "big house" to him.
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using proboards
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 19, 2015 17:01:58 GMT -5
I was on my way to looking it up but I got distracted.
This week they had the perfect setup. He was talking about Halloween costumes he had worn and said he was Sprout from the Jolly Green Giant commercials. But here's how we got on that subject. The girls needed a lawyer and asked him to pretend to be one. He responded that they shouldn't be asking him to pretend to be a lawyer since they can't even pretend to be waitresses. They're lucky their boss is so chill. To which Max responded he was one of Mr. Popper's Penguins.
He finally agreed and they went to this exclusive school and found they were having an event to raise awareness and funds for an anti-bullying effort. So he got up and spoke about how he had been bullied and was being bullied now. Max thought she was the bully but he later said it was his doorman. By the way, the boss seems to almost smile now when he's being insulted.
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 27, 2015 16:02:57 GMT -5
I have lots of material today if I can find it.
The boss gave out awards to his employees the day after the Oscars. That's when the episode aired, anyway. He wore a tux so Max commented on how he was one of the Penguins of Madagascar. At least two of the employees were absent, since one is a waiter who works a different shift than the girls who has been in some episodes, and at least one person works in the kitchen but never has any lines. It is never explained why these two (or more) weren't there. But the boss wanted one of the statues and Max held it up realy high so he had to jump.
Not a short joke, but on "Nashville" they told us what happened "previously". Someone was being sued and was told "You've been served." This also happened when the 2 Broke Girls needed a lawyer. I'm pretty sure the boss said something like that never happens here.
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Post by KyleEl on Feb 27, 2015 16:42:59 GMT -5
I saw the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles mentioned on another site. I think the boss was called one but that's all I remember.
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 6, 2015 17:33:54 GMT -5
I have more somewhere. There was no episode this week, but I listed some jokes somewhere.
One was about the boss living in a house made of Legos.
And there was some reference to "Horrible Bosses 2".
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 20, 2015 14:13:59 GMT -5
The 2 Broke Girls work in a diner in Brooklyn, not exactly the type of place you would expect to buy alcoholic drinks. But the boss wanted to serve drinks, and he said he bought top shelf liquor. Which led to two responses. Who reached for them for you, and did you have to show ID?
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Post by KyleEl on Mar 27, 2015 13:42:16 GMT -5
The 2 Broke Girls have a cat. This is rarely mentioned, but she was the primary subject of this week's episode. She got pregnant and gave birth, and while it was never explained, the kittens were old enough to be given away by the middle of the episode. They were so CUTE!
The girls decided not to hold the father's owner responsible. After all, though he was rich, they couldn't prove his cat was the father, though some of the kittens looked like his cat. Instead, they found out their boss lives in a building with lots of cat lovers who would be glad to take them. Caroline said she figured he'd be an expert on small creatures, being one himself.
Earlier in the episode, Max came up with her latest excuse for being late. The boss said, "What do you take me for?" She said not certain Disneyland rides.
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 2, 2015 14:30:29 GMT -5
The girls have new jobs at a nice restaurant but they still work at the other one. It was never explained, when their friends showed up at the new place, why the boss and the cashier appeared to be the same height. But there were steps going down into the restuarant. I'm just sorry they didn't take advantage.
I can't recall any short jokes about the boss at the new place. He was just annoying.
But at his own place, he was using a drone to spy from his office. Having fun with his joystick. Max said no one had fun with his little stick.
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 17, 2015 12:47:54 GMT -5
The 2 Broke Girls have new jobs at a nicer restaurant. They still work at the other one, but Caroline said it was nice not to slip on dirty diapers. Max said, "Speaking of babies ..." Their other boss was spying on them. Later, they confronted him at his own restaurant and when he denied it, the girls said they must have seen Pikachu.
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Post by KyleEl on Apr 24, 2015 15:21:32 GMT -5
There's a new employee at the restaurant. Asked why the boss hired him, the boss asked him to say what he said. He said he was a hard worker. The boss was so happy because no one else said that. Max has been taking breaks with the new worker, who is Irish. She says she has a thing for the man from the box of Lucky Charms (missed opportunity!).
Max asked the cook if he put the boss in the microwave. The cook said he didn't fit. Max said that was the one thing he was too big for.
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Post by KyleEl on May 5, 2015 16:24:30 GMT -5
I watched the Kentucky Derby. Do I even need to mention the relevant moment?
"Battle Creek" has its own little person. She was quite a big part of "Boston Legal", and so mean to those who treated her like a little girl. Especially Denny Crane.
The boss of the 2 Broke Girls got his new employee a new hose. Someone said if he squeezes the boss' hose, that will make the boss happy. The boss wanted to be the first to use it, but it was so high he had to jump, and the employee finally lifted him. One of the girls said men look so cute holding a baby.
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Post by KyleEl on May 8, 2015 14:58:28 GMT -5
Max threatened to put the boss in the bucket of cole slaw which they were using to fill tiny containers of cole slaw. The boss said the last time he only escaped because he was able to roll it.
A psychic couldn't afford to leave a tip so he told Max's fortune. He said, "I see a small failure." In walked the boss.
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Post by KyleEl on May 18, 2015 12:31:08 GMT -5
The Russian cook needs a new best man for his wedding. He says he'll have to lower his standards. Whoever he gets won't have to be best or even good. In walks the boss. Max says he said lower his standards, not subbasement. The boss still agrees. When he is told he will be in charge of the bachelor party, one of the girls asks if there's someone older he can get to buy alcohol.
At the party the girls are there and one offers him a martini, or an appletini, or anything teeny. Max offers him vodka in a shot glass and says if he holds it the glass will appear to be normal size.
The party is a disaster. The boss has no experience being a best man. Or any experience in being a man, one of the girls says.
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Post by KyleEl on May 21, 2015 14:46:59 GMT -5
The wedding happened in the season finale.
The groom, the restaurant's cashier and the best man (the boss) are dressed alike. One of the girls comments that they look like The Four Tops. Or Two Tops and a Bottom.
And the poor best man has a specific job because it is a Polish wedding. Both bride and groom have a crown held above their heads just before the priest pronounces them man and wife, at which time the crown is placed on their heads. The poor boss can't reach so the groom has to get down on his level.
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Post by KyleEl on Jun 12, 2015 16:46:32 GMT -5
No new episodes for months. It's not even coming back in the Fall. We can hope some new show gets a quick cancellation.
In the meantime, I found this. A 12th century Japanese general was only 3 feet 10 inches. Which would make him a sawed off Shogun.
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Post by KyleEl on Jun 26, 2015 14:30:15 GMT -5
I won't bother to see if it's here.
The boss brought his CPR dummy to work, expecting everyone to use it. The girls commented that he brought his girlfriend. He did CPR and one of the girls congratulated him on his first kiss.
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Post by KyleEl on Jul 3, 2015 14:26:41 GMT -5
Not a joke, but there's a Thai restaurant in a town near where I live. The people who run it have the same last name as refugees from that part of the word who a local church brought to this country. I saw a man outside who I'm guessing runs the place and he's even smaller than the boss on "2 Broke Girls".
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Post by KyleEl on Jul 10, 2015 13:46:05 GMT -5
And the real man was in a store in the same shopping center, which looks abandoned from a distance. I'm guessing the Asians have all the stores there.
Now back to the show. It's Christmas and Max says the boss walked in with a small package and he was carrying a gift bag. Also, no one is expecting anything big. In walks the boss.
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